Sunday...after I slept well...the sun came out today...

Last night Patti came over. It was a great visit. I felt lousy. Really. After her arrival, we jointly heated some pecans in a skillet, added organic apples and cinnamon and closed the lid...let it bake. I took ill in the middle of the yummy idea and had to go sit down. The result was the realization that taking an anti nausea med, something for the joint pain which had become agonizing, and ativan to be able to rest was the best thing to do to ensure a good nights rest. After I took all of the above, with some encouragement from Patti, I got ready for bed. And Patti tucked me in. Being tucked into my bed is one of my favorite things, especially when I don't feel well. I got tucked in and Patti locked the door on her way out. I don't think it took long to fall asleep. And I only got up once to pee. Beyond that, I slept several hours. The start of a turn-around, I think.

When I got up, I opened curtains and a peek of sun was out. It went away. But some hours later, it came out. I didn't feel well enough to go out and walk as I had wanted, but I think that may be possible tomorrow. Today I sat around watching movies offered on Starz for free this weekend. I got through the day and sometimes, that's all there is. Getting through. I feel better, but not yet strong. Better is better.

I find myself watching other people's travels today on fbook and when I get a picture share from a traveler. It is admittedly difficult because I so wish I could be elsewhere, on an adventure. But I do not begrudge those who are out living. One day soon, I will be done with treatment and will be able to move past this chapter. I expect to make some changes and to prioritize wisely. I will have had plenty of time to think about such matters...as in that is what I do now. I think about what matters most, how to know when I am kidding myself, how to remain hopeful but not be foolish...and how to know when to let go of the past and create the future. This house is likely to become the past. It has facilitated my stay here in CNY. It has been a good place for me to safely live a CNY life. It costs almost $500 a month to pay taxes and insurance to be here. Those monies are never recouped. They are simply the cost of life here. And that is a lot of money to spend...before buying necessities such as food and beverage and heating and cooling.