It's Wednesday evening. I am truly trying to get to bed at a decent hour. The truth is, that doesn't happen as often as it should given my health needs and what is common knowledge. Rita is in bed and leaves in the morning. Her short stay has been invaluable. She has intuitively handled everything she could have. I feel quite grateful that she chose to give to me in this way at this time. As is always the case, when I have someone stay here and provide me a way to really rest, I do better. But I have even better news to report this time.
My body is handling this round of chemo better than it has handled any of the others. There is a different element in the evaluation that I really do not know the impact of in the findings. Simply put, I did not feel nauseous and did not take the anti nausea drug nor the Ativan. I did use medical m, but nothing else. I had the medications with me today when I went to Hematology Oncology for the Vitamin C infusion, but never needed to take any. Ditto now, all these hours later. And I feel relatively well! Add to the equation the fact I did not get the Neulasta shot and thus have no bone pain and I don't have to anticipate any tomorrow or the next day. I will learn next week how this choice did or did not effect my blood counts. I am feeling very grateful to be able to give this report. I have no idea how Rita feels about coming to my aid when I am doing so seemingly well. I hope she realizes I wasn't joking when I told her that she may be the reason I had no problems this time. Her gentle help on all fronts brought about a calm and sense of well-being which may have impacted the outcome...
On a less positive note, at the Vitamin C infusion I got a nurse whose insertion of the feed line (with needled end that goes into port) hurt and bruised me last week, and this time when she inserted the line I vocalized the pain inadvertently. After she took the line out at the end, she put the customary gauze and tape over the site. When I looked down a half hour ago, I noticed blood had seeped through the gauze and that has never happened. I have only had a drop or so of blood on the gauze. This time the site bled. I intend to call and let my doctor's nurse know that this happened. I don't think this is a big deal; it was not an inordinate nor worrysome amount of blood. However, it was a deviation from what is normal to have it weep so much and this outcome goes along with a painful insertion on two of two occasions. I simply do not want her to be my nurse anymore and I want my doctor's nurse to tell me how to make that so, preferably with her help.
I have begun a list of calls to make in the morning and aspects of my tax spreadsheets to be found and entered. I feel like after I bring Rita to the train station and return home, I will be able to accomplish my goals and care for myself. There is plenty of food in the fridge to grab and eat. I know Barb will be calling after work and I will ask her for any supplies I may need. My cancer mentor has offered to come over to help or visit and I will decide if I need either once I am home. The situation I am in is very different than any of the other three chemo rounds. And I say this after writing about my concerns and fears about this round being worse as the last one had been.
I feel tired and realize I still have not figured out how to change this blog so that it reflects the actual time I am writing. When it was set up, somehow it was in PST. As much as I love it out west, I am currently living in the EST zone. The true time I am writing has consistently been three hours later than listed. Now that I have set the record straight, I will exit this, make a word with friends move in each game that it is my turn in, and head to bed. May the spirits grace me with good rest and the ability to awake and feel good - again!
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