Awoke to sunshine, which is always a big plus. Since my chemo last Tuesday, this morning was the first that I felt up to cooking breakfast. I cooked org spinach, added two scrambled eggs and spices and then a little shredded mozzarella. Yum. Also took all supplements as should occur in the morning. In other words, I am markedly closer to being back to me. I am grateful.
I'm glad my weight is back down from the steroid inflated state I was in last week, too. My blood pressure has been excellent and continues to be. But today, after the needle was inserted into the port and it was flushed with saline solution (which is tasted and inhaled at the same time and is not at all pleasant), I began to feel faint as the blood draw began. By the time the last saline flush occurred, I asked for orange juice and mentioned I felt faint. I had tears welling, feeling crappy yet again and truly hating such feelings and vulnerability. The nurse got a wheelchair and I did not like the feeling as she pushed me to the appointment with nurse, Carolyn. Dang. I just needed some juice and a moment. I received and drank a cup of cool, delicious orange juice and felt better.
Carolyn asked me out of the chair as soon as she saw me in it. Too pathetic for us both and - thankfully - unnecessary. The lengthy conversation with Carolyn went really well. We went over all of my past week and how I felt. As for the Neulasta, she finds the pain level and duration of such to be unacceptable. Me, too! Accompanied with my cost share of the shot causing a lot of stress, Carolyn is going to consult with Dr. Puc about foregoing the shot next time. I like that I never had to ask her to do so. Our discussion led her to offer such. Carolyn acknowledges my low spirits during the worst of it and the pitiful aloneness as quite understandable. She has asked me to get my daughter, Hannah, who cared for me fully after my first chemo, and who knows and understands my nearly pathological aversion to pharmaceuticals, to send me a voicemail I can play as needed, encouraging me with the right temperament to take recommended meds despite being hugely turned off to doing so. The idea seems like a good one. Upon going over all of my labs, Carolyn tells me I am really doing great. All lab results are in great ranges and she finds the CA 125 number of 7.9 following a 90.5 to be phenomenal... and yes, it can only mean the chemo is eliminating the cancer. As I divulged my devested interest in the six-round chemo schedule, she cautioned me. She explained the theory in making double-dog sure (my words) the cancer is truly bombarded into oblivion and it equates to 10 or 15 more years of life....and in that vein, yes, three more rounds is totally tolerable. However, after the PET scan results, a conversation about the treatment plans will be had with both Dr. Puc and Dr. Cunningham, my gynecologic oncology surgeon. So how many more treatments is to be revealed, but I am halfway through the course at minimum.
I am writing this blog while reclined and infusing with Vitamin C. It is always cool in this room, a necessary which is something I don't totally understand nor like. I am under a once heated blanket, feeling like I need to stop holding the ipad and keyboarding so I can get my hands under the blanket to gain warmth. After the infusion concludes, I will scurry way across town to the eastern Hemotology Oncology campus for the gynecological cancers support group. I never know what such opportunities will produce, but am open. A pearl of advise or additional support is welcome.
I have received some positive feedback about this blog, predominantly read by my friends. I hope there is a way for the larger community-at-large to gain access and pearls. I believe there is a need for real stories to reveal what would otherwise only be learned via experience...particularly for those about to journey down the path I am on. So feel free to share the site with others as you feel appropriate. While I enjoy writing and know I benefit from doing so, I desire it to be helpful to others, too.
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