Sometimes my headspace shifts. I read what I wrote hours ago and I don't feel like whining now, so I erased it! I went through a period of time today where I felt uncomfortable with being here and now. I missed the Northcoast and wanted a grass-fed burger well done on a whole wheat bun. I need to be patient until I can do more for myself. Feeling sad contributes nothing good. But it was another tough day in many ways.
I have recently watched most of the 25th Anniversary of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Concert (2009). This is a high, high recommend event to view and catch the good vibes from. The cast and jams were stellar. I realize I need to get out and see some music as soon as possible. Music keeps me together. I have known a long while. Watching the show brought joy back into me. Post show overall feeling: much better.
It was a day that had me the recipient of kindness...a grocery delivery courtesy of Patti. Barb texted and I skyped with Lynn...today's social interactions. The day is nearing over. I hope to again get 10 or 11 hours sleep. Last night was broken up rest. I have phone business ahead for tomorrow and am hopeful I shall feel much better by morning. This is a slow recovery. Initially when chemo was discussed, it was spoken of as six chemo sessions if you can handle it. If you can handle it indicates a knowledge that you will be hitting your limit. I accept my decision to schedule the sixth round back in knowing that I was likely to have my worst chemo to date. And sure enough, it is. I hope for faster healing than is happening and then have to love myself for where I am at. I find the process still difficult, but easier than it had been. I'm getting it. There are, indeed, lessons from the journey through ovarian cancer.
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