The Solstice has passed and thus the days are shortening in length...not too fast, but it is nonetheless so. Additionally, I find my feeling tied to cancer, treatment, and a patient-persona is shortening, too...at an exponentially rapid clip. The more I do, the better I feel, it seems. I'm getting pretty active, biking, walking, doing, and sometimes I need a day of rest afterwards, but it sure feels great to be fully living!
I'm infusing with Vitamin C as I write. As it stands, I committed to one more dose. I did not get to interview for state DMV job, although that seemed like it was going to happen. I'm looking for agreeable part-time work, just to keep life going, but nothing yet. Meanwhile, a trip across the country is in the planning stages. I recognize myself at a crossroad, but am consciously not tripping about the work, decisions, pace or unknowns.
Life has felt rich and full lately. Although there is no question the residuals of cancer-conquer treatment are evident...visibly as wig-worn wig-wearing and drawn on brows, if I want to sport brows. In the humid heat, my wig is an irritant at best. I leave it on for others' comfort, certainly not my own. The mirror is a smack-like reminder of what I've just gone through, but otherwise, the chapter is drawing to a close...because I feel and think as a patient less and less.
As for my head, once fully bald without any traces of hair, it is now covered in a soft, fledgling-like downy soft, mostly light grayish hair, the likes of which I have never seen. There is also a dark, coarse hair stubble coming in. I see more of each daily and am excited beyond belief. And although two weeks after chemo six I lost almost all of my eyebrows and lashes, the brows are now growing in! I will update about this. For those of us who have been chosen to get on the well-side to cancer, hair return is a significant component. I am eager, however, as has been the case with each step of cancer treatment, cancer coping, the opportunity to enhance one's patience is intrinsic. Wow...just checked my arms and I see that they too are growing hair. Praise be!
In this getting-past-treatment portion of overcoming Stage IV Ovarian Cancer, I feel increased stamina and a mind going full-tilt-boogie with ideas. Is this the consequence of laying through post-chemos? I seem to be robustly wanting to do summerish doings like a thirsty horse!
I'm also spending at least an hour a day researching health, the scientific data on gmo's, where to get clean food (not really as easy as one might hope given the lax laws and corporate trends to please the growing demand for organic foods in a probably deceptive way). I spoke at length w a local truly organic farmer yesterday and learned quite a bit. For those who can, it is certainly safest to buy from a known organic farmer than to rely on corporate stores...who are putting out organic spring mix in plastic boxes and the stuff lasts weeks...which scares me. The topic of food as what we feed our bodies, our selves, is intuitively a top-of-the-list topic. The list of diseases that are becoming more and more common grows while animal-testing of animals fed GMO foods is showing, with statistical significance, that inflammation of intestines and bowels results in these poor animals. If one stops to think of inflammation-caused human diseases that are root-caused by diet....well, for me personally, ignorance is shrinking, awareness is up, and recognizing the importance of due-diligence is paramount. So, after I leave my infusion, it's to the local small-guy natural grocer with a wealth of knowledge as a bonus, for some food for health, with peace of mind. This topic, clean food and it's role in health and well-being, shall be expanded on in a future post. To say I feel strongly is not an overstatement. I know with my gut, brain and being that ignorance does not lead to bliss when it comes down to the nitty-gritty.
I get to live on....without cancer infesting and consuming me. I take it both seriously, as in with responsibility, and lightly, as in with light and love and glee blazing the trail of decisions on a given day. Make it a blessed day, full of gratitude...that is what I shall be doing!
No comments:
Post a Comment