I have just reread the last post and feel the urge to delete it, but for the purpose of truly divulging the fluctuations of post cancer survival, I leave it. Since the last post I went in to discuss my medical situation with Dr. Cunningham, but instead was seen by her nurse. Although courteous and nice, she did not offer me any proactive things to do, other than telling me stress is the biggest factor I need to eliminate! She spoke of waiting it out and being sure to let them know when I have experienced pain for two weeks steady. I feel very discouraged with that advise. It means wait til you have full-blown symptoms and then we shall find more chemo to treat you with. The longer the period between last chemo and new chemo the better. I came home and then subsequently wrote Dr. C a letter asking for advise on what I can be doing. Meanwhile, all my own research shows that High Dose Vitamin C kills ovarian cancer dna and I would like to settle the crazy medical bill and get help from the integrative specialist I worked with. Last I spoke to attorney's office, they were still waiting response with an invoice for me to work from. It has been over a month. Big sigh.
Meanwhile, I await my appointment with the occupational health center which is next week. I will finally have a professional with mold expertise evaluate me. I also need to discuss the duress I have suffered. Stress elimination questions linger for me.
I began today's missive to say I am enjoying sunshine and family. The air is clean and clear here and the temperatures suit me. I am not stuck on what is not. I am going to be strong enough to face what is and work forward to sell my house in NY. When I have resources I can make the best choices for myself. I think high dose Vitamin C might be able to be found cheaper than I was paying. I believe an appointment with the integrative specialist must happen. So I ask for resolution of obstacles in the way of all that I need to live well.
For those who read this and know me, forgive me for the negativity expressed here during recent blogs. I do reach out with my truths of the moment, but when they are negative and doubtful, it looks like I am failing at the fundamental lessons I believed I had learned through cancer. Deep down, I want to live fully...and let my zest for life take me to new places.
